Long Walk Home
by Yella
Summary: Palex. Very Angsty. What if Alex and Paige stayed together after highschool, and then reality set in?
1. Better For You

Better for You

"I want to be better for you," Alex whispered into the soft blonde curls of Paige's hair, trying not to disturb the beauty from her sleep. She threw her legs over one side of the bed, and grabbed her suitcase that was packed. She watched the rise and fall of her lover's chest underneath the silky white covers in amazement, even if it was for this one last time. With one last over of the blonde and a grip on the doorknob, Alex was gone into the night.

Paige woke up with a startle realizing that Alex was not present in her embrace. She looked around the room, blinking her dreamy eyes; the room seemed so empty and dark. There were no signs of Alex anywhere. All her clothing was gone, her hairbrush and pillow had long vanished, along with her scent. Paige realized that the dream she just had wasn't a dream at all. It had actually occurred a month prior. She tried calling Marco, Alex's mom, and even tried wrestling Alex's where-abouts out of Jay, but no one knew her location. Nor did anyone know where to find her.

Paige knew that she was the closest one to Alex. And she wondered if that's what Alex wanted. One person to wonder about her and the rest not be able to help find her, so she could disappear at any moment. Paige clutched her blankets tight around herself. Her body began to shake and tremble as tears began to fill the corners of her eyes. It was one of the hottest months of summer that Degrassi had ever seen and yet she felt frozen all July.

She picked up the pieces of her heart that had started to scramble onto the bed, she was getting better at waking up alone. What she wasn't getting use to was going through the day without Alex. She had had several mental breakdowns wondering where she had gone. Was she dead in a ditch somewhere? Was she whoreing herself for male company? Was she just not good enough for Alex? She didn't have any answers to the questions that penetrated her brain daily and drove her insane.

She walked down the hallways to her bathroom to take a shower. She step into the icy cold porcelain tub and felt numb. The hot water hitting her skin couldn't even keep the tears from falling down and around her hand that was covering her face. She felt like she would die without Alex. Even after all this time, no one else could replace the fire that Alex made her feel. At first she felt like it was wrong, that her love for Alex could just be a fluke in time and the little misshape would soon be fixed and her life would go back to talking about cheerleading and boys. But now she focuses on school, and the girl who ran away.

Alex shifted herself under her bedsheets. She looked around at the beaten up apartment building she had been renting the last month. The cracking wallpaper, leaking roof, and dripping faucet were the least of her worries. She was worried about Paige. She knew she wasn't ready just yet to run back and sweep the blonde off her feet with the two dollars she had in her pocket and the low paying job and the low rent apartment. No way would Paige live like this for her, she believed and went on with getting ready for work.

So walked outside to her car, the only thing she had going for her: A Dodge Charger, 1969 classic that she got from Jay. He was the only person who knew where she had gone, because she knew he'd rather die before telling Paige anything. She hated herself for keeping her location a secret from Paige, but she thought it in her best interest till she got on her feet and could provide for them both.

Slipping out the back door on Paige, probably wasn't the best idea, but Alex wasn't' ready to face the life that they would have to serve together if Alex hadn't left when she did. "Maybe in a few months," she thought to herself, "Then I'll go back."

Paige dusted herself off and picked herself up from the breakdown in the shower as more girls started to pour into the campus community bathroom. She barely smiled at one of the girls that kept staring, and on her way out she heard one of them say, "It's that dyke that lives around here…"

She went back to her dorm and felt a twinge of sadness go through her side when she closed the door. The twinge turned into a burn and a pinch and then escaladed into tearing at her flesh, as she broke down again and started crying. A part of her wanted to curse the day she ever kissed Alex back, curse the time she spent with her, the times they made love and all of the kisses. She wanted to forget how good it felt to fall asleep in her lovers arms and know that the next day she'll be right there, or down the hallway making pancakes into funny shapes with little strawberries placed just so to make a heart. That was always her favorite. The way Alex would turn every day into something that seemed like a holiday or a vacation.

Everything was alright, until the day Paige woke up and the vacation was over. She remember the morning after so perfectly. She woke up and Alex wasn't beside, which was unusual on a Friday morning, but she thought maybe she'd forgotten an event (ex: When there first kiss was, when there first date was, the first time they made love) but when she got herself into the kitchen, there wasn't anyone there. No sweet smell of heart shaped strawberries, and no pancakes in funny shapes.

Just complete emptiness.

Alex drove to her job at the quickie mart in Vancouver. She moved a bazillion miles away from Paige, for what? Two part time jobs and a broken down palace. Her life was still moving nowhere fast, and to keep Paige, she needed a bit more to show for then just a flashy car.


	2. All For You

All For You

Alex swept the sidewalk outside of the quickie mart. The last few customers of the night were peddling out the door, and one of them trudged through Alex. "Watch where you're going!" the man blurted towards Alex. He was obviously plastered from a long Friday night, so Alex decided to let him go with his testicals still attached. If she were going to get Paige back, and have a better life for her, she would have to start without holding so many grudges.

When her shift was over and the store was locked up for the night, Alex walked to the back parking lot where her lovely vehicle was residing. On the handle of the passengers side there was a note: "How could you, Alex?" The short note was enough to stop Alex in her tracks. At the bottom of the note it read "Marco". She wondered 'how could she what? Up and leave?' She tore the cryptic message up and tossed it to the ground.

Paige went through her classes of the day half dead. All she could think about was Alex and her silky black hair. The way her arms fought comfort at night around Paige's waist. The way she smiled and her nose and the corners of her mouth would wrinkle in a different pattern then she'd ever seen. She missed the times they made love; passionately under the warm fire of candles placed all over the dark room (Alex doing so out of spontaneity) letting the glow from the flame light their skin to ember. Now all Paige could see was the winter mourn over the August sky, and all she felt was the hard thud her heart made across her ribs as she slid her back down the back of the door.

Alex threw her keys down on the kitchen counter as she pondered over the message left behind by Marco. He must be out in Vancouver visiting Craig, but how he found her would be the bigger question. Jay's scheming ways must have let it slip to get his way with something or someone. She let the thought escape, wondering over to her couch and turning on the TV, but the cable was out again. Her cell phone in her pocket vibrated her thigh. She pulled the phone out and stared at the screen: "Baby, I need you…why won't you talk to me?" the text was from Paige. She sounded so hurt that Alex began to type her back. Realizing what she was doing, she closed her phone and threw it across the room. She couldn't be weakened like that, not just yet.

After Paige texted Alex, she felt a little relived. "At least", she thought, "If Alex does still care for me, she knows I'm right here, waiting." Paige curled herself on the floor and fell fast to sleep.

When Paige awoke, she walked over to the mirror and studied herself. She'd lost fifteen pounds since Alex's departure, and hadn't eaten more than one meal a day. Mostly the meals consist of a sandwich and some crackers. Even then, it was hard for her to choke those down. Missing Alex, missing everything about them, and things they did together, made it hard to even move. Her body felt cold again so she sat down on the bed. There wasn't much more for her to do then to mourn the rest of the night away. She would possibly do the same tomorrow as well. No classes meant there were no events.

Alex locked her door and slipped out of her clothing for the night. She pulled on a spaghetti strap shirt and matching silky pj bottoms and hopped into her worn out mattress and cotton blankets. She let her mind slip into thoughts of making love to Paige. She could almost smell Paige's musky scent, feel the warmth of her body pressed into hers, see her soft curves and mounds, kiss her sweet lips as they puckered just so, and stare into her wondrous eyes.


	3. Because of You

Because of You

Paige heard a slight tapping on her dorm room door. "Who is it?" she called out after the rap.

"Paige, It's me, Marco…lemme in ok?"

Paige walked over to open the door for awaiting Marco. "Geez, Paige, now I hate to say this, but Heather Sinclair looks better then you right now. What have you been eating that's made you sick?"  
"Try, what haven't I been eating; which the answer would be anything."

"What?" Marco stared blankly for a moment, "Paige, you can't just not eat. That's not the answer to anything."

"You think I want to be like this? You think that I'm starving myself on purpose? You're sadly mislead little boy." Paige snapped out.

"No, that's not what I was saying, just…ok, if you're not starving yourself, then how come you haven't been eating? Alex isn't going to like that you're not eating."

"For the record, if I felt like eating, I'd eat something, and secondly, I doubt Alex cares much for me at all. And if she does, she'll be happy that I lost the weight. She probably left me in the first place because I'm fat."

"I don't like where that's going…remember what happened to Ellie when things got to hard on her?"

"Yea, I remember, but it's not like that. I feel sick when I eat. It's not about me being fat, or not being fat. I haven't even been thinking about that till you brought it up. It's about…it's about how it makes me sick to even think about eating. I've been crying, and getting sick so much that nothing seems appealing to me."

"Paige…why didn't you call me, or Dylan, or anyone?"

"Because why worry people when no one knows where she is. The one person I want to talk to is M.I.A. and there isn't a single soul out there who knows where she's at."

"What if I told you I do know where Alex Nunez is? Would you eat something for me?"

"Depends…do you really know where she is? Cause that might make my stomach stop doing flip-flops."

Alex woke up to the sound of her land lord beating on her door. "What the hell…" she unlocked the door, and let him in.

"Alex, I've told you several times, if the rents not in my hand by the first of the month, then you're out!"

"I know, Mr. Spavinsky, but I told you as soon as I get paid again, you'll have your money."

"I can't risk it, Alex, not this time. I've got bills to pay, and it's not like you have a family, or much in the ways of things you should pack, so you need to leave."

"But, Sir, I don't have another place to go…"

"Why don't you go back to Dehaven or whatever."

"It's Degrassi, and I can't."

"Well, you better figure something out, cause your lease is up."

She shut the door behind him and pounded her fist against the wall. She wasn't ready to see Paige like this, not yet anyways.

"You really found her?"

"Yea, I found her car because Jay made a slip up and told me he gave his Charger, to a 'friend'. And since I know that Jay doesn't have any friends, the most likely person he'd be talking about is Alex."

"But how do you know that it's a reliable source. I mean seriously Marco. It's Jay."

"Because I found the Charger and saw Alex working at a quickie mart in Vancouver."

"Why would she go all the way to Vancouver?" Paige stopped for a minute and looked down at her feet, "that far away to get away from me." She let out a soft sob and began to cry.

"Oh sweetie," Marco wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "It'll be ok. From the looks of it, she looked just as bad as you are. But you know Alex, she's not going to admit to that for the life of her."

"She's probably met someone knew, some other girls that's prettier than me, and deserves her more."

"Honey, no one deserves Alex more than you. She was your best friend. You gave up everything to be with her. She doesn't forget stuff like that, and you know it."

"But what if she's forgotten about me?"

"Well than," Marco stood up, "We're just going to have to remind her of what a hottie she's missing."

Alex packed her few belongings up. One box, a couple of sheets and a pillow were all she had and she was out the door. Maybe it was time for her to go back to Degrassi after all. She sped out of the apartment parking lot, and headed for her jobs.

She arrived at the quickie mart soon after and told her boss that she was quitting. She gave him a new address for her check to be sent to, and left for Degrassi. She looked at her phone. She knew she owed someone an explanation, but instead she called and left a message. "Hey, Paige, it's me. Look, I know I put you through hell, and I'm sorry. But I'm coming home."

Paige and Marco packed a few bags when Paige heard her phone go off. She looked at the screen as it read: ALEX, Voicemail (1). She listened to the message, and fell back on her bed. She began to cry, sobbing out tears of joy, and handed the phone to Marco.

"Oh my god, Paige!" He hugged her as she smiled.

"I can't believe it, was that really her?"

"Hell yes, that was really her!"

"So what do I do? I mean, she'll be here, what, tomorrow? Is that how long it takes to get from Vancouver to here?"

"Yea, about that long. But who cares how long it'll take! She's coming home!"

"I know…I'm so happy. I need to start making preparations, you know, for when she gets here, I want things to be perfect."

Paige started shifting things around her room with Marco's help, when all of a sudden the room became a blur and she crashed on the floor.


	4. This is You

Sirens wailed as Alex pulled up to the emergency room. Marco met her at the door. "Marco, oh my god, how is she?" her face was tormented with tears streaking down both her cheeks.

"She's fine, just, hooked up to an ivy. Alex, she hasn't eaten in a while."

"Why would she do that to herself?" She stopped when Marco's eye rested into her big brown ones. She knew exactly why, and what Paige had been going through, because she'd been going through it as well. "I don't care what you think of me right now, Marco, it doesn't matter what you think, just what she wants and needs. And it's not about you, it's about her."

"Fine, I'll take you to her." They walked in silence to Paige's room. Alex leaned against the door frame as Marco prepped Paige for their first meeting in a month. "Paige, Alex is here."

"I see that Marco. I'm sick, not blind." She leaned up and stared at Alex, "hey…" she whispered.

"You shouldn't be talking, to me or, at all" Alex smiled. "I know, I've done some really stupid things, but leaving you, that takes the cake."

"You know what Alex? Just go…you're pretty good at that. And I don't need your pitty right now. I didn't have it to live on a month ago. And passing out just proved to me, that I need some time to myself."

"But, Paige…you said you needed me."

"I feel like I do…and that's the problem."

Marco stood by dumb founded by Paige's reactions, as Alex stormed out of the room.

Paige woke up after an hour nap. Seeing Alex had exhausted her. "Hey," she looked up at Marco.

"Paige, how could you be so stupid? Alex was here, right here, and you tell her to leave?"

"Marco, she needs to realize that she really wants to be with me. I can't and won't stand for her to run off on me again and, and leave me like this." Paige motioned up and down her body, "I can't be like this anymore over her, and she needs to realize that she wants me just as much as I know I need her."

"I just know one thing," Marco got up to leave, "I'm so glad I'm over girls."

Alex sat outside the hospital for hours. She wasn't about to leave again, not while Paige was like that. And especially because she was in this situation because of her. She decided to give Paige some time, and then she would go back and see her.


	5. Stick With You

Authors Note: Sorry it's been umm, 6 months for the next chapter. I've just had a ton of stuff happening. And I'm not good at writing chapter stories and sticking to them, cause I feel like I run out of ideas. But since so many of you are adding me to your fav. List and watch list, I thought I'd update and close this story out. Thank you and love you all.

A.R.

Stick With You

Alex woke up in the fog of her car and to Marco tapping on the window.

"Hey, I got you some coffee…" he handed her the steaming cup, and leaned against her car.

"So what's the word? Is she going to be out today?" Alex asked, sipping down her java.

"Yea, she just, she was exhausted, and you know that. And about yesterday…"

"I deserved it? I'm a complete ass hole? Paige was a saint for even calling me?" Alex accused.

"No, I was going to say, that Paige is pretty out of it, and she needs to tell you exactly how she feels instead of giving you the run around." Marco paused.

"Like, what do you mean, 'how she feels'?"

"She wants you, and needs you, and she just thinks that you need to realize that you want to be with her just as badly. You know, she hasn't stopped thinking about you."

"I know, and honestly, she's the only thing that's been on my mind the whole time I've been gone, but what am I suppose to do, Marco? Waltz in there and act like I own her? Act like I haven't been gone for the past month? Act like I didn't ignore her for so long?"

"No, but you could start by, maybe doing something nice to make things better. She really misses you, but you're going to have to prove to her that you feel the same. Being here, well, it's a good start." Marco patted Alex's car and walked back into the hospital.

Paige walked out of the hospital later that day to find a very tired Alex leaning on the hood of her car. "Well, fancy seeing you here."

"Yea, I thought about bailing a few times, you know, cause I'm good at it."

"Ouch, glad the tiger hasn't lost her sting." Paige smirked at Alex, "Ok, maybe I deserved that…"

"No, Paige, I should be the one deserving it. I did something really messed up. And I have no idea how to make it up to you. I want to give you the world and more, but I can't. I can give you one thing." Alex pulled out a small claddagh that had a small diamond in the center. She got down on one knee, "I can give you my promise. I can give you my love, and I can take care of you better than anyone else. And if anyone ever tries to compete with that, then I will work a million times harder to keep them from out doing me. I will give myself completely to you. And I will love you for the rest of the world to see, and for the rest of your life."

"Alex…" Paige whispered, slipping the small ring on her finger, "What does this mean?"  
"This means that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And hopefully you can handle that."

Paige leaned in, locking her arms around Alex's small waist, and kissed her a long lingering kiss. "I think I can," Paige smiled.


End file.
